One of the multitude of things not told to expecting and new moms, is how differently things operate once you have children. But what happens when things can’t function how they normally do?

What happens when mom is the very one out of commission? The errand running, household keeping, toddler wrangler, can’t take care of herself, let alone her household as primary care giver?

I found out what happens about 4 months ago

One morning, while getting my toddler ready for the day, my lower back completely gave out. Thankfully, Asher was already on the floor in our baby-proofed living room when it happened. Within seconds, I was in excruciating pain and couldn’t move.

My husband was already at work, and my mom was caring for my grandfather, who was ill. I called my in-laws, asking them to come get Asher and help me. I could not even get off of the couch the pain was so bad, every time I moved felt like I was being stabbed.

Fast forward about an hour after a muscle relaxer and physical help getting up, standing, and walking with assistance, I was able to get help at my chiropractic office.

I had done this to my back 2 years prior, but that was before by son was born. In my head I was thinking, “how am I going to take care of my son“, I was literally using a walker for assistance at the chiropractor so I wouldn’t drop to my knees in pain if my back pinched wrong. I can barely move afterwards,

“how on earth am I going to pick up my son?”

“How am I going to change his diapers?”

“How am I going to keep him out of things?”

Physically, I slowly began to get better, but there was no way I could have safely taken care of either of us without the help of family members the first few days. I hate asking for help, but even if I could finally take care of myself somewhat, I was in no shape to take care of my toddler.

Family came daily to my house or would come pick us both up to go to their house each day until my husband got off work each evening.

I needed help with my son, making sure we were fed, he was entertained, making sure I was safe while showering. It hurt my mommy heart that my son didn’t know why I wasn’t picking him up or why I wouldn’t get down and play. All the things I take for granted on a daily basis.

That was the first time it happened, The second time was about 2-3 weeks later. Even though it didn’t go completely out, I was still down for the count for a week.

Since then, I’ve gone beyond chiropractic care to figure out what’s actually causing these episodes before they happen. I’ve seen my primary care physician, an orthopedic surgeon, and had X-rays and an MRI. The good news is nothing alarming showed, but it is presumed that I have mechanical lower back issues at the moment.

I am in the process of attending physical therapy to strengthen muscles, change my posture in certain areas, and tweak certain movement patterns to stop this cycle that my body is stuck in….. So far it seems to be working other than the occasional flare, fingers crossed.

Motherhood doesn’t stop when your body does. We don’t get vacation days or sick days as primary caregiver. When a child depends on you for everything, the most important thing doesn’t become you necessarily; it’s how you are going to take care of them and their needs first. I have been blessed with an amazing support system to help me in the expected and unexpected. As mom’s, we have to accept help and care just like we give our kiddos on a daily basis.

With help, healing, and hope – The No Bull Mommy